This is my first SOL post since October and I realized that today that it’s time to end this hiatus. Before October 20, I prided myself of slicing every Tuesday. Actually, Tuesday SOL blogs were something that I looked forward to and thought about throughout the week. I loved brainstorming ideas to write about and I even embraced those weeks when I had to fight off writer’s block. So my lack of blogging has not been because I gave up, but because so many things were happening and I wasn’t ready to write about some of those events.
On October 20, I was in the emergency room with my beloved grandfather and the following week was spent in a hospital room an hour from home, watching him fight until his body just couldn’t fight any longer. My grandfather meant the world to me and that week was one of the hardest times that I have experienced. Saying goodbye was so hard, but he was in so much pain at the end. While I miss him everyday, I know he is at peace now. I know that he is not in pain. That gives me comfort. I also have so many incredible memories of him and just looking at his picture brings a smile to my face.
After losing my grandfather, my family and I had to get used to life being so different without him. My grandfather was the center of everything for us and the void has often seemed unbearable. My Mom and my grandmother cared for my grandfather 24-7 every day. I helped out after school, in the evenings, and on the weekends. Thankfully, Mom, my grandmother, and I had each other to lean on, and I had the love and support of my school family, and we continue to take each day one day at a time.
Then, just a little over two weeks after my grandfather’s passing, I had to start the comprehensive exam in my doctoral program. I had three weeks to write papers in response to two questions related to reading education. My Mom reminded me that my grandfather would not want me to give up and she was my cheerleader (and pizza delivery person!) throughout the process. My friends at school gave me daily (maybe even hourly?) pep talks. These were three challenging weeks in which I often averaged about three hours of sleep. However, when I finally submitted that exam, I still had to wait for the results. Each time my e-mail dinged, I think my heart stopped because I was afraid to see the results. When I got the thumbs-up from my advisor, I cried for fifteen minutes straight because it finally sank in that I’d actually made it through comps. Now I’ve started my dissertation journey, and while that is taking a lot of time and energy, I’m feeling the pull of this blog again, which is something that I haven’t felt in awhile. It’s time to let the words flow here again. So here’s the end to my hiatus. I look forward to seeing where my writing journey takes me next.